The 4 am phone call

When the phone rings at 4am it’s never good news.

No one is calling to tell you that you have the day off.

Or that you just won a million dollars.

The phone ringing in the dead of the night can only mean one thing.

Something very bad has happened.

On January 20th our phone rang at 4am.

And yes, it has taken me over 100 days before I could actually write about it.

My father in law had a cold in early January. My in-laws had spent Christmas with us and we all figured he caught a cold on a plane on the way home.

On January 19th  he was told he had an ear infection.

On January 20th he woke up in middle of the night disoriented.

My mother in law called from the hospital. He was in septic shock.

The next few weeks were a blur. My husband flew back east and I tried to manage going to school full time, taking care of two 2 year olds, and keeping my husband focused on the positive.

He saw his Dad dying every day. The full ten days out east, it was like each day he slowly slipped closer to death.

A coma is a hard thing to see. Feeding tubes, breathing tubes, IVS. So many machines to keep someone on this side of death.

And the constantly changing diagnosis. Meningitis, encephalitis, maybe both, it all depended on which doctor looked at the MRI that day.

 

I know I’m annoyingly positive. It is simply my way, but it was a fine line to dance. Going over the google results with my husband on a daily basis.

Yes, I see that the stats really are not in his favour.

Yes, he is in a coma.

But, I remember the doctor I knew that was in a coma for months, and came out of it to re-write exams and practice again.

Comas can heal.

I know it’s annoying to live with someone who always wants to remind you to have hope. But I drove it home every day.

If you don’t have hope, you have nothing.

Don’t give up on him, he’s not giving up, in fact he keeps trying to pull out tubes, he is fighting. And fighting is hard to see.  Suffering is hard to see.

 

My husband has been out east several times since January to visit his parents. My father in law is still recovering in a hospital. Most recently he took our little lady out east.

She brought all of this happiness to the hospital:

Happyabi

 

I’ve learned so much about what matters to me in the last three months, my family, as always is number one.

 

 

 

240 day running streak

My friend, M just finished a 240 day running streak.

Yup, 240 days. Every day running.

She did it because she needed to do something to feel connected, to feel useful.

See M is a mother.

Her two little girls were taken from this world before they could be loved and held and kissed for as long as they deserved.

And soon M will welcome a new littler person into this world, her little boy.

M has a surrogate (gestational carrier) who will shortly go into labour and her little boy will be welcomed into a world full of love.

Now that’s a great reason to run.

Giant. Mirror

There is nothing like a toddler to shine a giant mirror right into your eyes.

Mama has a big bum.

(thanks girl, maybe I need to put down this smartie and go for a run)

Mama has an owie, oh, mama you have lots owies.

(thanks, I didn’t notice the assortment of pimples that have developed over the last week)

Mama, Dirt! Mama Dirt! Mama Dirt! Mama more Dirt!

(yeah I get it, no Martha Stewart here, better haul out the Shark)

Mama, coffee…more coffee! Mama looooove coffee.

(you bet Mama alone for 10 days, your lucky I’m only snuggling up to a jug of costco coffee… this could be wine)

readytointerogate

(Just look at her glare ready to spot Mama’s slightest fault – Mama that’s not how you roll pizza dough, move over and let me show you how to do it)

I write blog posts in my head

These days I have a lot of time to be in my head.

For the last 6 weeks I spend from 8-430 working at a certain handmade all natural cosmetics manufacturer.

I stand all day around tables packing products into boxes, sometimes I get the pleasure of working with my colleagues (a unique blend of musicians, philosophers and other social rejects, ye know my kind of people) and sometimes I stand alone, for hours, picking up shampoo, placing it in a box, rinse, repeat.

I have written epic blog posts, but once I get home, cook supper, play with the little runners and prepare for the next day, the blog is sadly neglected.

But big changes are a-comin’.

Yesterday, I made a big HUGE monumental change.

I paid tuition.

In January  I will be returning to school (again!) after all the University education (BA, BSc, CHRM) I am going to college and doing what I always dreamed of (but for some reason was never brave enough, crazy enough to do).

A mix of excitement, fear and anxiety are pulsating through my thoughts during the day, and these days I have nothing but time alone with my thoughts.

 

Lost in Running…

I have been busy, in July I ran 238 Km, a record for me, and one I wish I can say I repeated in August, but maybe September?

We drove to Halifax, and back with two 2 year olds (a whole new challenge).

 

I ran my worst race ever (the Natal Day 6 miler – a horrible 65 minutes of hell – don’t race after not sleeping for 2 straight nights – not unless you want to be out of juice at the start line).

I potty trained twins (we’re still having a few wee accidents, but, we have been diaper free now for 17 days). Not bad for kids only 2 years and 3 months old!

We built a patio.

I visited the daycare/preschool that the little runners will start attending next week(and I’m feeling better about this new transition – even though I still get weepy when I think of not being there to kiss their boo boos during the day).

I polished up my resume (and started the search for a temp job to get me through till January when I go to college).

And I’m still trying to keep up with the Marathon weight loss challenge, however, I feel it will be more like a half marathon for me – I have lost 10 pounds, I think I will get 3 more off before the challenge is over.

 

“It’s my Birthday Virtual Race”

On July 1st Canada celebrated it’s 145th birthday and Hiker Mom celebrated her 37th birthday by hosting a virtual Race the “It’s my birthday and I’ll run if I want to virtual Race”(that’s a mouthful!). In honour of her birthday I dedicated my first 10km (of my 18km run) to Hiker Mom for her virtual Race.

I wasn’t very fast(1:15).

Matter of fact, I was slower than usual (which could have something to do with the oppressive heat and getting up at 5am with the little runners)!

Regardless it was an enjoyable run, I listened to CBC radio and they played fantastic Canadian musicians and all my fellow runners wished each other Happy Canada Day.

It felt very Canadian.

On holiday Monday my husband the littler runners and Sky went to High Park to hike around on the trails (I was impressed that the little runners walked/ran over 4km! Not bad for those short 2 year old legs).

(scuffed knees on Nate from all the falling he did when running too fast!)

At 4pm in the afternoon, after a long day of hiking, my husband and I decided to go for a run, trading off who was pushing the stroller, we decided to do the 5km distance of the virtual run.

I’m glad I did it, but, I felt like I had nothing in the  tank, it was not a glamorous run, it was not a pretty run.

But sometimes hard earned runs are the best.

And because I forgot to take pictures (I always forget!) I took some post run pics this morning at my 9.5km run pushing the little people.

(Just look at that GIANT sweat stain! I guess that’s what happens when it’s 36 degrees outside and you go for a run – that’s 96.8 for my American friends)

Hikes and Virtual Runs

Everyday we take the little runners for a walk, they walk either 1km around the neighbourhood or longer 2-3km hikes in the woods (which they love).This weekend will be an action pack weekend of running, Ribs & Canada Day Parades.

And I’m sure we will squeeze in a “baby hike” too.

I’m about to head out on my Saturday morning run with my neighbour, but before I do, you should go check out Hiker Mom‘s Cool virtual Run to Celebrate her birthday(she was born on Canada’s Birthday, the whole nation will be celebrating)!